Rules dating more than one guy
Always be respectful of others’ feelings and choices If you’re not sure of how someone feels about you, ask them. If someone loves you, then they will want for you to be happy.
For now, take it from me: 2014’s prejudice against open relationships is misguided. Now for the steps to managing dating multiple girlfriends! In a perfect world, what would your relationships with women look like? If I’m spending any amount of time with you it means I think you are an amazing person. Guys wind up in monogamous relationships they never intended to be in because things snowball out of control.Not long ago, I got one of the best compliments of my life. When I asked her impression of me she said, “I think you are with a lot of women and you treat them all very well.” It made me so happy because there is this cultural belief that if you see multiple women, you are a monster and a heartless player. You can see multiple girls and still be a good dude. You need to do things differently than all of your role models have before you (after all, how many people do you know in multiple healthy relationships? Any anthropologist worth his salt will tell you that Homo sapiens evolved in non-monogamous settings (though there is still debate over whether those were more harem-like Gorilla societies or free loving bonobo societies). You need to be crystal clear and confident on this because if you choose open relationships, you will face some heavy emotional pushing to compromise on this point. If you’re caught off guard, you might revert to an easy lie. Seriously, proper planning is 50% of leading a moral life. I am happy to talk about this and I want you to feel comfortable telling me about people you’ve been with if you want.The structure I’ve covered up until here will lay the groundwork for you to make the same impression. It’s also about leaving everyone better than you found them. The rise of sexual exclusivity likely didn’t occur until the last 10,000 years with the rise of agriculture and private property. Men and women alike, we’re biologically hardwired to seek multiple sexual partners concurrently. It is in those times that you will need to look to your North Star and follow it, despite the temptation to cave. I wanted to love different things in different girls and I wanted the freedom to never stop exploring. I’ll write more on this later, but for now take it from me: you need to plan for these questions. Personally, I won’t be asking, but you should feel free to tell me if it is important to you.This can become friends with benefits or casual dating depending on when you see each other and what you do (dates, etc) but the management principle is the same: see each other no more than once a week to keep things where they are. Tell her frequently that you want to remain single. That like “all guys,” you just want to have your cake and eat it too. Openness is a priority and a value in your life and it is not changing, even if you are swept off your feet. If you get into a long-term relationship where you are “open boyfriend/girlfriend,” make it a point to show her friends what she means to you.Open girlfriend – You have full license and encouragement to be as affectionate and loving as possible. Though you should be as loving as possible, what you need to manage are the rules you implicitly set up. Think twice before establishing a: These practices become common law for the relationship and can wind up causing issues if you are seeing someone else. Commit random acts of thoughtfulness and loop them in. Enlist her roommate’s help in making sure it arrives at the correct address and it set up correctly. Let her share in the happiness and thoughtfulness of the act and she will love you for it. If the answer is no, you owe it to her to cut things off. But after a few months, it is fairly common for her feelings to shift, so stay aware.